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Archive for the ‘Family and friends’ Category

Have you ever noticed how ferns unfurl? They poke through the ground with great determination, all eager to catch the sunshine. Their fronds appear, all nestled in curves like question marks that seem to hug each other like young love in spring, wondering what life will bring.

DSCN1623 I’m off on a bit of jaunt in the jalopy with my favorite frond as we share a spot of time to celebrate our 40th anniversary.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend. If you behave, when I come back in a day or two, maybe I’ll tell you how to be a bee spotter.

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paskeeggLast year, I told you the story of how my sister, Dottie, my cousin, Ted, and I learned the Easter hymn sung during Eastern Orthodox Easter. I told you about my father and how he taught us the words in Greek, and how he helped us pronounce, and remember, the very last word by telling us to say “Harry, Sam, and Us. The whole story can be found here. That was the first time my sister and I attended the Easter Sunday Agape service. The next year, we went to the midnight Easter service and then to the celebratory feast afterwards.

In the Orthodox tradition, there is a moving service that is held at midnight rejoicing in the empty tomb of Christ. Most churches are packed to overflowing as chants and prayers are intoned. Just before midnight, all the lights in the sanctuary are turned off. It is a solemn, sacred moment to believers, and one of palpable anticipation. It is utterly silent and dark. As the new day is born, Easter morning, the bells ring and the priest rejoices with the words “Christos Anesti”, holding one lit candle, which lights another, then another, until the entire church is bathed in the soft glow of candlelight and song. A liturgy is then celebrated, lasting until well after 1:30 am.

There is, of course, much more to this religious celebration that I am expressing here, but, I hope it gives you a feel for the anticipation my sister and I had when we were allowed to attend this Easter resurrection service for the first time. It was a rite of passage, allowing us into an adult time of worship and I will never, ever forget it.

In those years, the early 1960′s, our church was a fledging parish, set off on its own from an established church in Chicago. It was founded by first generation Greek Americans, the children of immigrants, who were slowly, gradually, purposefully moving out to the suburbs, buying mostly new houses in subdivisions with new schools named Nixon and Eisenhower. These new schools rented gymnasiums and classrooms to newly formed churches to use until they could raise the money to build their own. Our small band of parishioners and a priest with a vision did the same, first using public schools, then buying a small, older church, finally building a new one that has stood now for nearly five decades.

It was in the “used” church that my fondest memories dwell. It was walking distance from our house and situated across the street from my grade school. Roosevelt Elementary School and Holy Apostles Greek Orthodox Church, in Broadview, Illinois, blocks from the Eisenhower Expressway, seven blocks from our house. It was in Roosevelt School that I first learned of the assassination of John Kennedy, and then, a few days later, on the steps of Holy Apostles,  that Lee Harvey Oswald was shot. It was in Roosevelt School where I watched an American launched into space and in Holy Apostles basement that I learned the Greek alphabet. It was in that school that I was a seal in the circus and  it was in that church that I was a fallen angel of the Lord in the Christmas pageant. It was in the church where my sister managed to roll her quarter “offering” down the aisle at a most solemn moment. I can still hear the sound as it seemed to roll on and on and on, trying hard not to giggle. It was during Greek School lessons in the church basement where we all sat giggling beyond control as we saw a man enter the ladies’ restroom (the man, we later learned, couldn’t read English). I remember one of the boys raising his hand, shouting in Greek, “barroe na pao sto meros”, loosely meaning I have to go the bathroom and twenty or so children bursting into fits of laughter.

It was in this humble church that I attended my first midnight service and in the church basement afterwards that my sister and I were first allowed to partake in the celebratory feast. There was lamb and potatoes, Greek yogurt (what? you thought it was just invented now?) , bread and salad and sweets – and red Easter eggs, which would take me on a path of Olympic glory. Okay. Not exactly Olympic glory, but rather a mini-moment of fame.

Greek Easter eggs are traditionally dyed red, representing the blood of Christ. They are really quite beautiful in a basket or nestled into a big round loaf of Greek Easter bread. They are also employed in a game of seeing who can crack the most eggs without having their own crack.

I sat, primly, in my Easter dress and bonnet, enjoying the food and the sense of community as folks ate, chatted in two different languages, the priest prayed and spoke, women served food. My mother helped with the serving. My dad was often interrupted to shake this person’s hand, or got up to say hello to someone.

Then, the boys started cracking eggs. I was a shy child and was about 12 years old at the time. That awkward age for most girls, made more so by masses of boys with red egg-shell weapons in their hands. One of the boys came over to try to crack my egg. I’m sure he thought that quiet Penny would be an easy target. Not so, for he hit mine with his pointed end and his cracked! He used the other end, and it cracked as well. I felt pretty swell, sitting there, having spent not a whit of energy on the exchange. Another boy came up with the same results. Daddy saw his opportunity and stood up. Having two daughters, one painfully shy, does not give a father too many moments of this kind of pride. He went over to one of the men. I’m sure he said something to the effect of “none of the boys can crack my daughter’s Easter egg”. Of course, a few more boys came over and tried, their Easter eggs turning into masses of red shell. At some point, my dad looked concerned. Two many boys around his older daughter, I’m sure.

I won that  year. Nary a dent in my Easter egg. I proudly brought it home. Yia Yia put it in an old, chipped cup and it was on display, then it went into a cabinet above the stove, where it sat, for many years. Ma would take it out for me to look at, then carefully place it back into its tomb. She would let me gently shake it so I could hear the yolk rattle, with strong warning to be careful, for, if dropped, well, imagine the smell.

I don’t know what happened to that Easter egg. It was likely thrown away when we moved from the house. I do know what happened to my memories of that first Easter service. It sits awesomely in my memory and I take it out each year.

Image source and more information about Greek Easter eggs and game can be found by clicking here and here.

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by William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A Poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Sunshine and warmth have finally descended upon the Cutoff, and our daffodils are starting to open, their smiling, cupped faces laughing with spring. Some were here when we arrived on the Cutoff. A few were “borrowed” from a neighboring lot, soon to be plowed under to make way for a new house. A clump was purchased one fall, with hopes of other spring times, but, it is the ones from our friend Jerry that bring us the greatest thrill.

Jerry has cultivated daffodils for many-a-year, sharing bouquets of their buttery colored sweetness and scent with friends and nursing homes around the area, and bulb divisions with eager folks such as me. Although Jerry has not been able to tend to his bulbs as he has in the past, generations still bloom come spring, a few right here on the Cutoff.

I thought of Jerry when I happened upon this poem by William Wordsworth, and then I thought of Bev and her appreciation of Vincent Van Gogh. Here’s to spring, my dear readers, and to good friends!

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close up of flowers. . . I have so many words tumbling around in my head that want to set down and rest on a page. I want to talk about Mr. Selfridge, to show you the daffodils that are starting to bloom, perhaps share a story of when I left my lips in Oak Brook or a poem that has been sitting, waiting for the right moment. First things first, my friend. First things first.

This is a close up of the flowers whose shadows were in my previous post. They sat on Katy and Tom’s table, so cheery and bright, while we were up north visiting. I suspect that a few stems are still brightening the room.

The weekend was filled with Easter and Kezzie’s birthday. Now that she is three, she has a very good understanding of what birthdays mean; presents and cake! I asked if I could bring the cake, which was fun to make and assemble, but, forgot the candles. No matter. Tom (the younger) just lit three votive candles and we sang Happy Birthday while this birthday fairy spun round and round atop the music box cake turner that was used when I was a child.

fairy cake for Kezzie

Lighting Candles for Kezzie's B-Day

Yummy b-day cake

 

All the while, Ezra stared and ate some cereal, which he enjoyed. I don’t why we take pictures of babies with food on their faces, but, we do. He is such a pleasant little guy with a most willing smile that grows quickly into a belly laugh. He is cooing and scoots around on the floor like a little round airplane just waiting for take-off.

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Easter morn dawned, sunny and cold; so cold that the Easter egg hunt needed to be brought indoors. Keziah was most interested in playing with the tub toy from Auntie Jenny and Uncle Jason, while Ezra seemed to be contemplating his next move. Life is so grand when seen through the eyes of a child.

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Bunny Scrunchy in K's hair

 

 

 

 

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On the Wings of Her Angel

DSCN1230I treasure this picture of my mom. I think I’ve posted it before. She is about 19 or 20 years of age. It was taken before she and my dad were married. Her brown hair long, in a smart wave.  Her smile sweet. Those soft, blue folds of her coat quite stylish. My mom looks so young and carefree and reminds me so much of my own daughters, each bearing resemblances to her in different ways, not to mention myself.

It is the tilt of her head that has captivated me today. I have a few pictures of Jennifer and I at the Jackie Kennedy Tea we attended a few weeks ago. We are both tilting our heads in the same way in our photos; it is exactly the same way Ma is tilting hers here. Amazing, isn’t it, the way such family traits appear? I like to think of them as little gifts in life that arrive unawares.

My mom passed away 25 years ago. She died on the Ides of March. I miss her in the ways we all miss those we love and no longer have with us on this earth, though I always feel her near. When she died, I was right next to her. She took in her last breath, her head turned toward me, and I felt as if I caught her spirit.

I’ve been having dreams lately of family members, all now “gone home”/ In each of them, so real, my mother never appears. They are a comfort, these dreams; I never fear them as some might. My sister’s surgery is in part what is bringing them on, I’m sure. My sister, you see, was spared the very same thing my mom died from 25 years ago. Gifts. I tell you, dear reader, they keep coming in life if we just take the time to receive them.

Since Ma was appearing in my dreams and her anniversary was nigh, I took a ride to the cemetery to say hello on Thursday, the 14th. I didn’t stay long. It was bitterly cold, the cemetery was empty, and I was deep into its interior. I did say a prayer and smiled at the memories that are good of my life, and home I came, knowing some of our dreams happen while our eyes are open.

Would you mind if I shared a portion of a poem I wrote for a writing class I took some years after Ma died? It is called “On the Wings of Her Angel”

I watched her warm essence wax

and wane until it flew on

the wings of her angel -

I breathed in her spirit and caught it

on it’s upward flight.

In my mother’s room:

threads of death in her veins,

I felt the gossamer web of her presence

and gathered her strength. It freed me

to love and mourn her -

sewing and darning and mending,

a time-worn pattern of love,

to hold for my daughters-

a blanket of all that is good and fair.

I look to her soul as I wander

this dark hall of grief,

down the corridors

of my longing and loss,

remembering her breath

as it fluttered home to me

from the wings of her angel.

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Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. Anais Nin

One never knows where “dem bones” will end up. Take, for instance, a ham bone. One leftover from a Christmas luncheon. Actually, someone did take the ham bone. Several people, in fact, did. It made perfect sense to let the ladies who offered to warm the hams have “first pick” at the bones, which they happily took home. One bone, however, was passed on to another, Pat, who froze it to share at another time. I was one of the lucky ones who got to enjoy it!

I was delighted to receive Pat’s invitation to lunch, though not sure if I would be able to make it as it was a week after my sister’s surgery. As luck would have it, I was able to attend and, as these sorts of things go, it was JUST the thing I needed.

Several of us sat around Pat’s table on an icy Friday morn in February, enjoying a most delicious ham, bean and kale soup accompanied by spoon corn bread, a spicy carrot salad, and stimulating conversation with just the right pinches of laughter and encouragement. Dear reader, please know this hearty lunch with one of “dem bones” was a balm for my soul, allowing me to regroup, repair, and rejoice!

Ah, dem bones! As I wended my way home, I started humming the spiritual “Dem Bones”, then recalled a performance on the famed show of years ago, the Lawrence Welk Show. I guess I was still picking at ‘dem bones”. This version was performed on a Halloween show. I hope you will enjoy “dem bones” – and maybe have a big bowl of hearty soup, shared with friends, perhaps, someday soon.

 

 

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Being Brave Against the Storm

 

4195163551_30a84e46b9Just a few days ago, we had record-breaking January temperatures in an already record-breaking weather year.

The almost balmy 61°F of Tuesday turned to ice on Wednesday and brought the brand of biting snow that bends one’s head  forward and nips into one’s cheeks and nose and ears: the kind of cold that stays in one’s bones long after coming inside. It is 6°F this evening.

 

Heading out to my car tonight, I thought of all the cold winters my sister and I walked back and forth to school, bundled up and holding hands. I was leaving the hospital where she is recovering from  a complicated surgery. I was wishing she was with me, holding my hand, instead of in a hospital bed and I thought of the cold December morning, just after Christmas, when we both had our tonsils taken out. We were so very young and it was so very long ago.

We spent the night before in the hospital, she in a ward, me in a double room, our parents fretting as they left us because we weren’t in the same room together. Dottie snuck into my room. She had never slept in such a big room without me before. I took her back to her bed, after a while. I’m sure we both slept that night, but I don’t remember.

I do remember being wheeled out of my room the next morning. Ma and Daddy standing against the wall, kissing me, scared as parents are in such situations. I got to go first. I was scared but stubbornly stoic; the Spartan in me. Was Dottie standing nearby or on a gurney herself? I don’t remember. I just remember Daddy saying “Dottie, see Penny? You be brave like her.”

I didn’t want to be brave. I wanted to cry. I wanted the cart to turn around. I wanted to go home where I felt safe. I didn’t want to be brave.

Before Dottie went into surgery on Wednesday,  I took my turn before she was wheeled away. Between the tears I struggled to hold in, I kissed her, I told her I loved her, and I told her to be brave, just like when we had our tonsils out. Such silly things are sometimes said when we are worried or scared.

Dottie was brave, very brave. Now she is starting a healing process that will take a long time, but she will heal, for my little sister Dottie is strong, and she is brave. Very, very brave.

 

 

 

 

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I am fascinated with hands; little hands, big hands, wrinkled, weathered hands, manicured hands, the hands of gardeners, mechanics, carpenters, surgeons, clergy, musicians and beauticians. They express who we are, what we do, where we’ve been, and sometimes where we are going.

These are Kezzie’s hands, breaking up a Christmas sugar cookie at a Barnes and Noble cafe. She’s my kind of gal, enjoying coffee shops and bookstores. She was so intent on breaking up her cookie – then she saw my muffin. She got a quarter of the muffin. I got one of the cookie pieces.

That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

One of her current favorite books is “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” by Laura Numeroff. It is a circular story that starts with giving a mouse a cookie, then he wants a glass of milk, and on and on until the mouse gets another cookie.

The picture has been sitting on my desktop for a month now, waiting for me and my hands to work with it. I’m ready.

I have my Yia Yia’s hands. Grandma’s hand were large, but, Yia Yia’s were quite small. I’d watch her work in the kitchen, kneading bread, wrapping grape leaves over meatballs for dolmathes, rolling balls of butter cookies. I’d watch her hands. They were never still. Grandma’s weren’t either. She cleaned houses until just before she died at 81. I just didn’t know her as well. My mother had her hands, larger than mine, her knuckles swollen from arthritis and her nails perfectly rounded as if they all wore a smile, no matter how much her hands hurt.

While I don’t have my mother’s hands and my fingernails don’t smile, I tend hold them in ways she did; folded one atop the other in my lap, as if in prayer in front of me, or curved backwards at my side when in a car’s passenger seat, where I always start searching for the house keys long before we arrive home.

Kezzie’s mommy doesn’t have my hands, BUT, she holds them the same way as I do and as her Yia Yia did.

Our Kezzie already has hands that are never still. She’s already “working” cookies. I wonder how she will hold her hands. I wonder what they’ll  say. I just hope she doesn’t give a mouse a cookie.

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cherries_in_winter-270x360508b0840436c9There are presents wrapped in bright paper with bows, or slipped into gift bags with tissue galore, and then there are gifts that come from the exuberant  suggestion of a dear friend. Have you ever gotten one?

I did, just after Christmas, when Janet, aka Country Mouse, recommended a little memoir that she thought I would like. Her enthusiasm was so contagious and our friendship so rooted that I knew I needed to read the book. I found it at one of the libraries I haunt and was turning the pages as soon as I arrived home. It was JUST the book I needed to read at JUST the right time, and now I want to tell you about it.

When writer Suzan Colon starts feeling the wrath of the downturn in the economy in 2008, she starts to economize on the cut-backs she correctly anticipates will happen. Sack lunches and walking instead of taking the subway are a prelude for the day her job no longer exists. At her mother’s suggestion, Suzan looks to her grandmother’s recipes for inspiration. It becomes a journey of recipes and family history as she explores not only Nana’s recipes, but her writing as well, along with her own mother’s stories of survival.

I read about Suzan making split pea soup just as my own ham bone was floating happily in a pot of green on the stove, and I thought about how we all “make do” with leftovers and leftover leftovers as I put ham in with potatoes to stretch that little piggy a little further on yet another day. I thought about the pinwheel cookie I was eating and how it came to Tom’s family through a cookbook that came with a stove and how Tom’s mother wrote a letter to the government seeking permission to buy the stove during WWII rationing as I read about Nana’s recipe for butter cookies, neatly typed for Nana had gone to secretarial school, when she wanted to be a teacher and a writer, but life and times got in the way.

This sweet little book is filled with Colon’s family history and survival as she works her way through the tough economy and all it entails that many are struggling through, still. It is, to me, really about looking to our family and their stories for strength, to take each day one at a time, to enjoy the little moments in life and to allow yourself a “treat” now and then. When I finished the book, I found myself wanting more, for this little gem found its way into my heart and nourished my soul JUST when I needed it. I’m thankful for the earnest recommendation of a long-time friend and kindred spirit, and I am thankful for having read Suzan Colon’s book. “Cherries in Winter” – I JUST might need to find myself some cherries soon.

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It is Twelfth Night, signaling the end of the Christmas season.

Here on the Cutoff, it means the time has come for putting our Christmas back in its boxes and bags.

Right about now, we tend to remember our girls in their younger years and the gifts of the Magi; Jennifer for her pronunciation of “frankinsentence” and Katy for questioning when “the wise guys” are coming. It is always with a bit of a smile and a feeling of goodness that I remember those days as the ornaments are carefully wrapped for another year.

This year, there is a new ornament that I know will bring about fond memories in years to come. It’s origins started last summer, ending on our tree.

I should start from the beginning.

Once upon a time, the daughter of our good friends Pat and Rick became engaged. She and her fiance planned a wedding on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend in September. The reception was to be held at the Willowbrook Ballroom, a majestic place where  big bands once played and our parents had tripped the light fantastic.

Rick, a trumpeter extraordinaire, decided to surprise his daughter with a medley of polkas, played with several friends from our church; all musicians who played most Sundays, including my Tom and his guitar.

The men practiced week after week until the day of the wedding arrived. We all sat together, the polka band and their wives, and we ate and laughed and talked – and we all kept the polka part secret until it was time for the band to play. These talented musicians quietly went to the stage, set up their instruments, and then Rick tapped on the microphone and made the announcement that a few songs would be played for the newlyweds.

What a fun time it was as the music played, the men sang, and dancers took to the old wooden floor. Smiles lit up the room, guests of all ages danced around the ballroom, and then the “pierogi” song was played. Do you know it? I didn’t it, but, I soon caught on. It was a fun sort call and response that went something like the band singing “do you want a pierogi” followed by everyone else saying ” yes, I want a pierogi”. It was such fun, they were encouraged to play it a few more times.

Don’t you just love those times in life that are so much fun and lively?

Come December, Rick gathered the group together right after church and handed each of the boys in the band a small box, thanking them for  making the wedding so memorable. In the box, tied with a red ribbon and Polish Christmas greeting was something new to hang on the tree.

Do you want a pierogi?

Pierogi #2

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