My dear friend Sharon knows me well. She often gifts me with things she instinctively knows I will love; tea, food, bouquets of flowers in small bottles. Proof was in the pudding when she recently handed me a lovely, adorned gift and out came a book that seemed tailor-made for me.
It was tailor-made for me – as Sharon knew it would be.
Since I first brought Valerie Kack-Brice’s For She is the Tree of Life: Grandmothers Through the Eyes of Women Writers home, I have found myself buried in this treasure trove of stories and poems about which noted writers talk about their grandmothers. From Maya Angelou to Ethel Barrymore, Isabel Allende to M. F. K. Fisher, I have been like a guest in their lives and I have been filled with a longing for my Yia Yia, who I write about often here on the Cutoff.
For She is the Tree of Life has followed me now, for many-a-week, into the livingroom then to the bedroom, out to the arbor and into the car. I’ve portioned out each chapter like a daily dose of chocolate, one sweet morsel at a time. I think I will place it next to my treasured birthday gift, At Grandmother’s Table, where I know right where to find it for inspiration, and a fond memory of a good friend. I hope she reads it as well, and maybe remembers her own grandmothers.
This is from the poem, Second Language, by Andrena Zawinski, one of many treasures found in For She is the Tree of Life. It brought to mind my Greek grandmother, Yia Yia, and how she would wind my hair, making rag curls.
In that long moment before sleep sets in,
when the clock ticks above the silence,
I think of her. She was the woman who named
the world for me in patchwork Russian. Baba,
studa baba, rolled her socks down to the ankles, wrapped silver braids beneath babushkas,
thought dressing up was wearing a fresh apron.
Baba trained my fingers to press pirogi dough,
never scolded when I ate the filling first;
tied my hair in rags, shaped long ringlets
round my full moon old world face.
Andrena Zawinski
Dear Penny, . . . Your lyrical writing always leaves me feeling peaceful–no matter what the subject matter. You have such a light, deft touch with every topic. Wisdom. That’s what I think–you have the gift of wisdom. You are, I boldly say, a sage.
Peace.
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What a generous and beautiful things to say, Dee. Wisdom and sage – yes, you may be so bold, though I am blushing and I’m lapping your words up with pleasure. Thank you so very much.
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I always find a sense of peace in your writing. It calms and reminds me of the good that is Life. Lovely post. It is bringing up my own memories of my maternal grandmother, with whom I had a somewhat distance but gentle relationship. My paternal GMa passed well before I was born.
“My full moon old world face,” is a lovely line. It makes me want to look into her writing further.
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Isn’t it a lovely poem and line, Teresa? I didn’t know Zawinski before reading this and want to read more of her as well. There is actually much more to this poem that I think you would appreciate.
Thank you for your kind words, Teresa. I appreciate them. I wish I had known my maternal grandmother better, but, know how fortunate I am to have been so close to my Yia Yia.
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Now I had a granny. She was a yorkshire woman. She shared in our upbringing as kids, and she baked bread in a fire-heated oven. She passed on to her son a great love of language – he was my uncle, and through my mother the same love of language passed to me. How could I ever summarise the debt I owed to her
John
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Oh how I wish I knew your granny, John. The bread sounds wonderful. I think we were both lucky to have had our grandmothers hand it our rearing. What a gift you were given in that love of language and you repay that debt quite nicely through your words and your poems of which she would surely be proud.
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Penny, I only knew one grandparent, my Mamaw. She was a force. I often think she had enough personality for all the ones I never met, though I’m sure that isn’t true since I know my Father (whose Mom died before I was born and whose Dad died right after I came along.)
Whenever I forget what she sounded like, I dig out old videos of Loretta Lynn on YouTube. (She is a distant cousin.) I have her lips, and I fear, something of her potty mouth when I lose my temper. But, that’s okay with me. 🙂
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Mamaw. That alone tells me how grand she must have been, Andra. I’m guessing you’ve written about Mamaw. I’ll dig into your archives to see when I’ve a bit more time.
I do recall you mentioning Loretta Lynn. Ha! Family traits have a way of sneaking into our mannerisms and temperament, don’t they? Tom and I were just discussing my, er, sarcasm. ha!
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Your message to me today is about friendship as our grandmothers were often our first friends, pals, buddies. They not only gave us their knowledge but always championed our causes. How thoughtful of you to connect that love to your friendship with Sharon and the gift of the book. You are fortunate to have such a friend who knows what makes you happy.
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Sharon is a very dear and special friend, Marilyn, and she pays attention to those things in our lives that matter. The book was a surprise. I am, indeed, fortunate to enjoy her friendship.
I’m also fortunate to know you through this blog. Thank you.
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Very early on in reading your blog, Penny, you talked about your Yia Yia, and in just the way your spoke of her I felt like I knew you! I have such deep abiding love for my grandmothers and I know what that connection means. I would undoubtedly love this book. Your friend Marilyn is a dear person to be someone who gives gifts that validate how much she does know you. I’m glad you shared about your friendship as well as an invitation to enjoy the book! oxo Debra
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Thank you, Debra. Your so sweet to say so. We are blessed in those relationships, aren’t we? I do think you would enjoy this book. It is not one of those books that one sits down and reads like a novel, but, instead savors it over a period of time. Hope all is well and that your dad is comfortable at home.
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A lovely post Penny, grandmothers are so special. I certainly treasure the memories of both of mine. When recently celebrating what would have been my maternal grandmother’s 100th birthday, my 4yr. old grandson had no problem in singing happy birthday to the birthday girl, by sing ” Happy Birthday nanna’s nana “…he had no problem with the fact that having died 15 years ago, she could not attend…he just sang to her anyway.
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I love it, Janice! What a wonderful celebration, in absentia. To honor your grandmother’s 100 years and have your grandson there participating in such a way brings a smile to my lips. How beautiful to honor her life in such a way and a lesson to learn how to party from a four year old grandson.
Thank you.
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What a sweet post. I’m glad you are enjoying the book, it is so you, Grandmother, Friend, Writer. I lost my favorite Grandmother, Isabelle when I was only 10, but she has been my Guardian Angel all these years. Even Wendy not long ago decided that her Great Grandmother will be her Guardian Angel too. And I treasure our Friendship…
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I am, Sharon, and I just had to share it, and you, here. What a wonderful Guardian Angel to have, and to share with Wendy, giving you both comfort and warm feelings. Even though Wendy never met her, she knows your Grandmother Isabelle through your stories and pictures and all those feelings our children can read, even when we don’t talk about them. Lovely.
Thanks, Sharon, once again, for the book and the friendship.
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Based upon what you’ve written about your yia yia, as well as what you’ve written of your own experience being a yia yia I can see why Sharon knew this was the perfect book for you. This poem alone seems worth the book!
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She knows me well, Janet, as do you. There are quite a few other good ones in the book and some lovely prose.
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Oh, Penny, I can see so clearly why you loved this poem and why this book is so very much worth owning. Your tales of your own Yia Yia are some of my favourites, and these words sum up that memory we have of our grandmothers so simply, without frills, but with the most moving intergrity.
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Sorry, integrity!
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It is one of those books that I know I will return to again and again, Kate. The poem can really be about so many grandmothers, can’t it? I now want to read more of this poet.
Hope you are feeling better.
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What a wonderful friend to know exactly what would please you most. You are indeed fortunate to have had a beloved grandmother to remember and to have received a gift which would so warmly bring her to life.
I lack a grandmother, both of mine died before I was born.
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She certainly is, Friko, and I am, indeed, fortunate to have had my grandmother with me until I was 20. She lived with us until I was 19 and was a big part of my development.
I’m sorry you didn’t get to know your grandmothers. There were actually a few stories in the other book I mentioned, At Grandmother’s Table, where the authors talk about not knowing their grandmothers and how that influence their life that was interesting.
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This sounds like my kind of book! I will seek it out, and thanks Penny for the recommendation.
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I’ve thought of you as I read these essays and poems, Juliet, and think you would enjoy it. I see from Perpetua’s comment below that she found it for a pittance on Amazon.
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A lovely, lyrical post, Penny. Like Juliet I must say that this sounds like my kind of book. I lost my maternal grandmother when I was 14 but still have such fond memories of her as she was the only grandmother I knew. Now I’m a grandmother myself, but with grandsons, not granddaughters and the relationship is just as wonderful that way. 🙂
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PS I have just found it secondhand on Amazon UK for ONE penny plus postage! It’s now on the way to me. 🙂
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Thank you, Perpetua, and how exciting for you find this for a penny on Amazon! I promise you, it will be worth that one cent. Isn’t it grand to be a point in life where we have the influence, however brief it may be, of those who came before us and the opportunity of those we are blessed with now? I think your grandsons are very fortunate to have you in their lives.
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Dear Penny: I must get this book. How dear of a special friend to know you so well and gift you with such a beautiful and thoughtful book. I have fond memories of my maternal grandmother. Her picture is on my dresser to this day and she died when I was 26. A very precious and well loved woman by all. She never got upset with me and I could do no wrong! You always share such beautiful inspiration. m.a. ox
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Hi, Mary Anne. I do think you would enjoy this book and yes, indeed, Sharon is a special friend. That yearning for your grandmother, so dear to you, and the comfort of her picture to see every day. I’m sure she is watching you and admiring what a wonderful grandmother you are now.
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Beautiful! How wonderful to have a friend who knows you so well and what beautiful memories you have.
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It is a wonderful gift to have such a friend, indeed, Sallie.
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