I’m still a wee bit under the weather. Actually, it’s more like a wee-wee bit under the weather, which occurs each time I cough, which is most of the time right now. So, enough of my lack of bladder control, my coughing and sneezing and general malaise. This, too, will pass. Until then, I thought I might share an older post as we here in the States prepare for Thanksgiving.
Turkey Lurkey and Henny Penny, first posted here.
I have a fear of turkeys. Frozen turkeys.
It started when I was 26 years old. It was my maiden voyage in the fine American culinary tradition of roasting the Thanksgiving turkey. I come from a long line of extraordinary cooks and married into a family of equal expertise. Big shoes to fill – and I only wore a size 5½ myself. The pressure to roast a good turkey was on.
On a crisp November day, on my way home from a day of teaching first graders, I stopped at the grocery store, which was a newly opened Jewel Grand Bazaar. A precursor to the big box stores of today. At four in the afternoon, it was already crowded, and parking my 1972 green Ford Pinto hatchback took a few passes down the rows to find a parking spot.
Once inside, I grabbed a cart and selected produce, then dairy, bakery, then canned goods, saving a space in the cart for Turkey Lurkey. What a pair we were that afternoon. Henny Penny and Turkey Lurkey. My mom and Tom’s, as well as his sister, Maura, were all bringing accompaniments, but, this bird and his stuffing were my responsibility. All mine.
I’d never bought a turkey before. This was long before Mr. Google could answer any question asked. With my 1972 red and white checked Better Homes and Gardens spiral bound cookbook as my guide, I picked out a frozen turkey, the biggest one I could find, loaded it onto the cart, and headed to the checkout, confident that the twenty-two pound gobbler would feed our guests and yield plenty of leftovers.
Bill paid, groceries bagged, I loaded up the hatchback of my Pinto and headed home as dusk settled in. Rush hour traffic was in full throttle, but, I only had a few miles to go and was thinking about all I still had to do to prepare for our first Thanksgiving hosting.
I’ve always loved Thanksgiving, from when I was a child, but, never more so than when I was young. Do you remember a time when we only had turkey for Thanksgiving and maybe Christmas dinner? We had our Thanksgiving meal, maybe turkey sandwiches later, leftovers a day or so more, and that was it. The scents and tastes were put in abeyance until the next year.
I was thinking about these things, I am certain, as I drove home. Anticipation and great expectations as I listened to the news on the tinny car radio (I was a news junkie even then).
Suddenly, the car in front of me stopped. I slammed on my brakes, just in time, and checked my rearview mirror to see if I was about to be hit. In an instant, I saw it, hurling at me at 35 miles per hour with me at a dead stop. My life actually flashed before my eyes, as did all my Thanksgivings and a few misgivings as well. It was two or three seconds of pure terror as 22 pounds of frozen turkey hurled, straight from the hatchback, over the back seat, and straight toward my Farah Fawcett coiffed hairdo!
Turkey Lurkey catapulting like a shot out of a cannon toward Henny Penny. I truly thought the sky was falling!
The back of my car seat stopped that frozen fowl. Stopped him mid-flight. There I was, saved, in a backhanded sort of way by foul play in the last second of the ’72 turkey tourney. The car in front stalled, the driver behind me staring, mouth agape. I can only imagine his view from his steering wheel as he witnessed a turkey on the loose in, of all cars, a Ford Pinto.
I managed to get this year’s turkey, all twenty pounds of frozen poultry promise, into the cart, into the car, out of the car, and into the freezer. It is now in a slow swoon in the refrigerator.
I thought about the turkey of yore each and every step of the way.
I still have the 1972 red and white checked Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.
The 1972 Ford Pinto hatchback , dubbed “the horsey car” by Jennifer in her toddling days, eventually went on to greener pastures.
Great post with interesting content
Can’t wait for more!
Best wishes, R
http://ramonacrisstea.wordpress.com/
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Thank you, Ramona. Not sure of your local, so, will just say good weather. 🙂
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So sorry you aren’t feeling good. Im on antibiotic and Prednisone and it’s been rough. Im either talking to my belly button or going off the walls. I hope we are both fixed up soon. Meds are not fun.
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Oh, gosh. I had not realized you were under the weather. Sorry to hear it. I was just put on antibiotic this afternoon and starting to feel a little loopy. We can “talk” about our conversations with our belly buttons while scaling the wall.
I hope so, too. I just knew I needed something today, as things weren’t improving. Take care, lots of fluids, and know that good thoughts, albeit drug induced, coming your way. 🙂
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I hope you are soon feeling much better and are never again under attack from a flying Turkey Lurkey. I have had some unusual experiences cooking turkey, but have never been attacked. Good thoughts headed your way. Maybe you should have ham this year……No, that’s no good. That little pig went wee wee wee all the way home and you don’t need any more of that. With that weird observation, I leave you and hope you are over the weather instead of under soon.
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Thanks, Janet. The turkey attack was actually back in the dark ages, the ’70’s, but, the horror reveals itself come November. tee hee Working on getting “over the weather” here. On some meds, which I think are doing their thing. Yea!
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Holidays are the perfect time of year for old favorites and this is one that I could happily read every year … and laugh just as hard each time.
Get well soon!
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Aww, thanks, Sallie. That’s kind of you to say.
On some prescription meds and starting to see results. Slow but sure. 🙂 Need to get well so I can tackle this year’s turkey. Hee hee
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Flying turkeys would put a damper on the festivities for sure! That could have done some real damage if it had hit you, This is a sweet as well as funny story. Not many people see the humor in their own adventures.
Rest is what you need, lots of fluids in spite of the resulting problems when coughing, good books and naps will do the trick! Am hoping you feel lots better soon. Surely you aren’t in charge of a big to-do for Thanksgiving are you?
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It was pretty frightening at the time, Marilyn – and the turkey was frozen. It ended well. The person in the car behind me had a look of sheer horror. Finally on meds, which are helping. I’m just so fatigued. Dinner is here on Thursday. Everyone will help – I just want to be awake for it.
Hope all is well with you.
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Penny, you may be feeling rotten, but your sense of humour has not succumbed to any bugs. It was fun reading this reposted post. I had a good laugh, and then laughed again as I imagined you strapping the next Turkey into its seat with a seat belt on – or better still, tucking it up into a child’s car seat. So glad that you Farah Fawcett hairdo survived the onslaught on that occasion. (You do have a knack with the telling details in your stories) Sending you lots of healing thoughts.
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Just caught those healing thoughts, Juliet, and appreciate them. As long as I can hold on to a sense of humor . . . Now, I will remember that tip – strap the old bird in via a seat belt. Wonder if the air bag would go off. hehe
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That’s a lovely story. How often have you sent a silent prayer to the back of your car seat since then?
Happy Thanks giving.
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Just about every year since 1975, Friko. 🙂 Story is now family legend.
Thanks, Friko. It is my favorite holiday, though I have a special respect for the turkey.
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What a way THAT would have been to go Penny! Thank goodness you lived to tell the story!
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Can you imagine the eulogy? Maybe they would have “carameled” me back together, Jan. tee hee ‘Tis an old, Thanksgiving tale now – and I lived to tell it. 🙂
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Gosh, I’m glad your car seat came up trumps and fielded that lethal turkey, Penny! A super post and I do hope you feel better soon.
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I actually repeated this around our Thanksgiving table, Perpetua. That old bird seems to resurface every few years around the table. I really was lucky the seat came to my rescue. : Thank you – and for commenting, which is surely tricky with that cast on. Still coughing a bit, but, on the other side of it.
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[…] recipes. Oh, I had, several cookbooks – still have, an early 1970’s edition of the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook. It is the one with the checked red and white cover, little tabs on the side for meat, vegetables, […]
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